In my previous post I highlighted the importance of values and how these can serve as somewhat of a compass in our lives.
We said that when there's a correlation between your actions/behaviour and your values, you generally have a sense of satisfaction and contentment. However, when there's a misalignment with your personal values, that's when things feel disjointed and just plain wrong. This can be a real source of unhappiness. For this reasons, making a conscious effort to identify your values is important.
So, how do you identify said values? There's different ways, of course, but below is a general guide.
When you define your personal values, you discover what's truly important to you. A good way of starting to do this is to look back on your life – to identify when you felt really good, and really confident that you were making good choices.
Step 1: Can you remember the times when you were happiest?
Think of examples from both your career and personal life. This will ensure some balance in your answers.
What were you doing?
Were you with other people? Who?
What other factors contributed to your happiness?
Step 2: Can you remember the times when you were most proud?
Once again, think of examples from your career and personal life.
Why were you proud?
Did other people share your pride? Who?
What other factors contributed to your feelings of pride?
Step 3: Can you remember the times when you were most fulfilled and satisfied?
Again, use both work and personal examples.
What need or desire was fulfilled?
How and why did the experience give your life meaning?
What other factors contributed to your feelings of fulfilment?
Step 4: Determine your top values, based on your experiences of happiness, pride, and fulfillment
Why is each experience truly important and memorable? In my last post I listed a very basic list of common core values...I've included it below for your convenience...
From the list choose what you believe are y our top 10 values (come of them may overlap...You may want to add some not listed).
Step 5: Prioritize your top values
This is going to take some deep introspection. While this step may not be the easiest, it's probably the most important step. When making a decision, you'll have to choose between solutions that may satisfy different values. This is when you must know which value is more important to you.
Write down your top values, not in any particular order.
Look at the first two values and ask yourself, "If I could satisfy only one of these, which would I choose?" Perhaps, visualize a situation in which you would have to make that choice. For example:
- "I value service and I value stability"
- "Do I sell up my home (stability) and move abroad to foreign aid work (service), or do I keep the house (stability) and volunteer to do charity work closer to home (service)."
Keep working through the list, by comparing each value with each other value, until your list is in the correct order.
Step 6: Reaffirm your values
Check your top-priority values, and make sure that they fit with your life and your vision for yourself.
Do these values make you feel good about yourself?
Are you proud of your top three values?
Would you be comfortable and proud to tell your values to people you respect and admire?
Do these values represent things you would support, even if your choice isn't popular, and it puts you in the minority?
When you consider your values in decision making, your sense of integrity will be intact, you will be true to yourself, and approach decisions with confidence and clarity. You'll also know that what you're doing is best for your current and future happiness and satisfaction.
Making value-based choices may not always be easy. However, making a choice that you know is right is a lot less difficult in the long run.
CORE VALUES LIST
Accountability - Accuracy - Achievement - Adventurousness - Altruism - Ambition
Balance - Being the best - Belonging - Boldness
Calmness - Carefulness - Challenge - Cheerfulness - Clear-mindedness - Commitment
Decisiveness - Dependability - Determination - Devoutness - Diligence - Discipline
Elegance - Empathy - Enjoyment - Enthusiasm - Equality - Excellence - Excitement
Fairness - Faith - Family - Fidelity - Fitness - Fluency - Focus - Freedom - Fun
Goodness - Grace - Growth - Generosity
Happiness - Hard Work - Health - Helping Society - Holiness - Honesty - Honour
Independence - Ingenuity - Inner Harmony - Inquisitiveness - Insightfulness - Intelligence
Joy - Justice
Leadership - Legacy - Love - Loyalty
Making a difference - Mastery - Merit
Obedience - Openness - Order - Originality
Patriotism - Perfection - Piety - Positivity - Practicality - Preparedness - Professionalism
Quality-orientation
Reliability - Resourcefulness - Restraint - Religion - Rigour
Security - Self-control - Selflessness - Sensitivity - Serenity - Service - Shrewdness - Simplicity
Teamwork - Temperance -Thankfulness - Thoroughness - Thoughtfulness - Timeliness
Understanding - Uniqueness - Unity - Usefulness
Vision - Vitality - Versatility
Keep a look out for my next post on 'Setting Values-based Intentions'.
Till next time...Godspeed as you navigate this journey of life!
If you, or someone you know are in need of an empathetic listening ear, give us a call at Samway Counselling Services see how we are able to help.
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