In 2009, we faced some big decisions as a family as we prepared to leave our beloved South Africa and make the big move overseas to our new home (the destination then was New Zealand, now Australia). This would be no holiday from which we’d return after a week or two. This was it! This was one of those ‘forever’ moves. Nothing would ever be the same again!
Emigration – leaving one’s place of birth is a roller coaster of emotions (like a Gold Coast theme park ride!) It’s extremely exciting and instills in one a sense of adventure, new beginnings; starting a new chapter! The prospect of being able to provide a ‘better’ life for one’s family certainly brings a sense of joy and happiness.
"There’s two sides to every story", they say. Emigration/Immigration is no exception. Although a journey of excitement, it’s also a journey of ‘saying goodbye’. Leaving the big 3 ‘F’s’:
FAMILY,
FRIENDS,
FAMILIARITY,
is a huge thing, something only an immigrant can truly understand.
Have you been there? Have you had to make the decision about what to take, what to sell, what to give away? How are you feeling about the family, friends and familiar things you left behind - your family pet; your house; a parent, etc? Are you working through some of those feelings or is there a persistent sense of guilt, grief and loss?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you need to know that there is hope; there is always hope. The initial excitement and anticipation need not be replaced by the pain of grief, guilt and loss. Will the tugging at the heartstrings ever go away? Maybe, maybe not. But, the good news is that these tuggings and the pain they bring can be processed and worked through so that they don’t become the dominant force in your life.
If you could do with someone to talk to who’s been there; finding yourself struggling, or perhaps getting stuck in the mud of missing the familiar things that you left behind; then do make contact with Samway Counselling Services today. We’d love to hear from you and journey together with you in working through those feelings of guilt and loss.
Comments