Why did you make the decision to move from a country as beautiful as South Africa?
Why did you make the decision to leave the country of your birth and start from scratch in a brand new one as an immigrant?
What motivated such a momentous life-changing move, one that when made, would change everything? Your world as you knew it ‘back home’ would never be the same again!
The answers to this question ‘Why’, would no doubt be varied. As our faces differ, so do our experiences in life.
I can almost hear some saying that you made the move because of the ‘horrible crime situation’ back in South Africa. While that is certainly a valid reason, it is not the only one. Some other common reasons often heard are:
I wanted to provide better opportunities for my children.
I wanted to pursue better job prospects.
We were looking for a better and safer lifestyle for our family.
(For some Christians) We were following the call of God as He led us to different ministry opportunities.
For my family and I, the last reason was the most applicable for us when we emigrated from South Africa back in 2009.
Whatever your reasons for emigrating are (it may be different to the few listed above), the reality is one sets out on the new adventure; what you ‘know’ about what lies ahead is gleaned from research you may have done leading up to the move, but in reality the picture is never a fully clear one. It really is a step of faith (whether one is a person of faith or not).
So, the move was made, eyes bright as a result of the tears shed at the airport as well as the sense of excited anticipation of what lay head. At that point began your ‘happy forever after’…BUT…wait…let’s fast forward to present day, 5, 10, 15+ years since you turned that immigration leaf in the story of your life. How are you feeling about it now?
Some common murmurings that we hear from immigrant clients that we counsel revolve around the following:
Loss of family support
Children growing up without ouma (granny) and oupa (grandpa), tannies (aunties), ooms (uncles), neefs en niggies (cousins).
The cultural values and morals that one is trying to instil in the lives of one’s children so that they ‘don’t forget their roots’, are being questioned or even disdained by them.
In light of these emerging challenges, amongst others, one could be left with doubts, questions, inner wrestling at times surrounding immigration. How do you deal with those niggling doubts, which if left unchecked, could lead to a sense of despondency.
Well, could I encourage you, if you find yourself in this space, to revisit the ‘why’? Go back to the first paragraph and answer those ‘why’ questions truthfully. The true nitty gritty of it. No fantasy, no ideal pie-in-the-sky idealising about the future. Be real. Why did you make the move?
You see, much may have changed since you arrived in your new country of residence. Some expectations may not have been met. The job may not have panned out as hoped. Other family challenges may have surfaced over the years. But, you know what, the constant in all of these seasons of change is the answer to that ‘WHY’. That remains immutable/unchanging.
As you revisit that ‘why’ – your reason(s) for immigrating- may that be a source of encouragement, hope and motivation. You made the decision, with the best intentions, based on knowledge you had at the time; you had no control of the future, what may or may not transpire. You took that step of faith and hope back then, hold onto that faith and hope now; stand firm in that faith and hope; move forward in that faith and hope!
Don’t give out, give in or give up, but fan into flame the embers of dying dreams and shattered hopes and step into the future confidently, remembering your why!
If you or someone you know can do with an empathetic listening ear, do contact Samway Counselling Services today and let's journey together:
Telephone/ Text/ Whatsapp: 0432 816 005
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