It’s the middle of the week. Pastor X is sitting in his office preparing for Sunday’s sermon. He answers the ringing phone and on the other end is a parishioner who shares with him some distressing news affecting her family.
Normally this loving pastor would be moved with what this lady was sharing with him; usually he’d drop everything and head over to offer support to the family. On this occasion, however, he hears her out, offers a few ‘low key’ words of encouragement, hangs up the phone and continues with Sunday’s preparation.
Usually, Pastor X would be so deeply moved with compassion and empathy - he usually felt it. This time he felt nothing, absolutely nothing!
Here, Dear Reader, is a classic example of what is known in therapy circles as ‘Compassion Fatigue’.
“Compassion fatigue is defined as an overexposure to suffering and pain that can cause personal stress and a reduced ability to be empathetic”
The bottom line is, we keep giving and giving till we have nothing more to give…. Drained! Empty!
Some experts believe compassion fatigue is a misnomer because it is not fatiguing to extend compassion to others. In some circles there’s a move away from the use of compassion fatigue to talking more about empathy fatigue.
(If you are keen to read more about some neurobiological research in this area, then this article is an interesting read).
Other terms that you may encounter from time to time include:
- Secondary trauma
As a Pastor, one listens to, and starts taking on the trauma of one’s parishioners and this in turn starts having an unhelpful impact on one’s own psyche. This whole phenomenon has been described by some as the “cost of caring” for others.
Another member needs to bend your ear.
Another member needs your advice on something.
Another member is going through a difficult season.
You give, you pour out, you invest…Pastor, who’s giving back, who’s pouring into your life; who’s re-investing…
One cannot keep pouring without eventually running dry or scraping the bottom of the proverbial barrel. There needs to be a time of stopping, pausing, refilling and refuelling in order to carry on effectively and efficiently.
Closing thoughts
Caring is an inevitable part and an unavoidable expectation of the call to ministry (or any field, for that matter, that involves supporting or caring for others). However, it is draining work; it is hard work. As inevitable as it is for a good pastor to care, so too is it inevitable that this good pastor will hit rock bottom emotionally and psychologically (even spiritually and physically) if adequate boundaries are not in place to ensure that while he is so busy taking care of the souls of others that he himself does not wear out his own.
Do you need a listening ear?
If you need help with working on a ministry self-care plan or finding ways to navigate through a difficult patch in ministry or leadership, contact Samway Counselling Services on
0432 816 005 to discuss your situation and find out how we can help.
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